EPISODE #170- The Resilience Roadmap: Navigating Life's Setbacks While Managing Depression

Disappointment cuts deep when battling depression, but these setbacks can become opportunities for growth and resilience. Through practical strategies and compassionate self-talk, we can learn to navigate life's inevitable letdowns while protecting our mental wellbeing.

• Disappointment hurts more deeply when you have depression, but defeat is optional
• A setback is an event, not an identity—your effort still matters even when outcomes disappoint
• Acknowledge your feelings openly and allow yourself to grieve what could have been
• Practice immediate self-care after disappointment: shower, eat, change your environment
• Create a proactive plan for handling setbacks before they occur
• Build resilience through small, consistent steps forward
• Remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness
• Strengthen your self-talk with phrases like "This moment is tough, but so am I"
• Resilience isn't about being tough all the time—it's about bending without breaking

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone struggling with mental health challenges. Join our Win Over Depression Community on Facebook or find us on TikTok at Tamara Trotter Consulting. Visit tamaratrotterconsulting.com for more resources. Remember, you are not your mental illness, and you can overcome your circumstances when you become proactive.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Win Over Depression
• 1:17 Understanding Disappointment During Depression
• 5:11 Simple Steps to Build Resilience
• 8:47 Creating a Plan for Inevitable Setbacks
• 11:49 Developing Your Resilience Muscle
• 16:06 Closing Thoughts and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Hello and welcome. To Win Over Depression, your beacon of hope in the realm of mental health. I am your host, tamara Trotter. I am your companion on the journey to reclaiming joy and resilience, and this podcast will unravel the vital importance of managing your well-being amidst life's challenges. From practical strategies to uplifting stories and expert advice, each episode is a roadmap to cultivating mental wellness and overcoming the grip of depression. Whether you are seeking solace for yourself or supporting a friend, here you will find the tools and inspiration to navigate the complexities of emotional health. Join me as we embark on a transformative quest to prioritize self-care, resilience and the triumph of the human spirit. Let's together redefine the narrative of depression and embrace a life of purpose and fulfillment.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Today, on Went Over Depression, we'll be talking about something that we all will experience in our lives at some point Disappointment, whether it's the loss of a job, a broken relationship, unmet goals or life just not going the way we've hoped. Disappointment has a way of cutting deep, especially when you are already battling depression depression. This podcast will allow you to find light on the dark days, reclaim your strength and take small, brave steps forward. But here's the truth you can overcome disappointment and even grow from it. So grab some tea, take a break and let's talk about how strong you can become when life doesn't go as planned. So let's be real. Disappointment stings. It hits us in the chest, it's weight on your shoulders and sometimes it sounds like this little voice in your head saying you're not enough. Why don't you just give up? Or why do you even try? When you live with depression, disappointment doesn't hurt, it echoes. It becomes another reason to spiral, to feel stuck or give up. But let me tell you something important Disappointment is a part of life, but defeat is not. Disappointment is a part of life, but defeat is not. Everyone, even the strongest, the happiest, the most successful, feels let down sometimes. The difference is not whether we experience it, but what we do with it. Here are the truths I want you to carry with you, especially on days when everything feels like it's falling apart.

Speaker 1: 3:11

This moment doesn't define you. Just because things didn't go your way, it doesn't mean that you're a failure. A setback is an event and not an identity. The moment that you feel as if life is just passing you by, the time that you feel as if the setbacks continue to come and you feel as though you'll never get ahead. That just reminds you about how resilient you are, how far you've come, and it should catapult you into the realization that, even though things aren't going your way now, it doesn't mean that it has to be a defining moment, because your effort still matters. You showed up, you cared and you tried, and that means something, even if the outcome wasn't what you wanted. You are building your own resilience. You are allowed to feel hurt, but you must still move forward.

Speaker 1: 4:24

Being strong doesn't mean pretending that you're okay. It means honoring your feelings and then choosing, little by little, to keep going, because, remember, the sun will always rise in the morning. Sometimes we just have to lay down in the morning. Sometimes we just have to lay down, close our eyes and go to sleep, knowing that when we wake up we have another chance, a brand new day to start a new beginning. So let's take some action. Not big, dramatic changes, but simple steps can help you to build resilience.

Speaker 1: 5:12

After disappointment, which is inevitable. Say it out loud or write it down I'm disappointed because my friends let me down, or I'm disappointed because I didn't get the promotion. So when we just acknowledge the reason for our change in feeling and thought, then we can start to grieve, whether it's a job opportunity or a breakup, even just a bad day, it's okay to mourn what could have been, and losses deserve compassion, because we will all suffer losses. You may not have control of the outcome, but you have absolute control over how you treat yourself afterward. Start with kindness, always with kindness. You are not weak for feeling like this. You are not broken because life lets you down, because life will oftentimes feel as if you're always trying to catch up. You can never get ahead, but you are still worthy, still capable and still needed, even in your lowest moments. This season will pass and when it does, you'll look back and see just how strong you were, even when it didn't feel like it, when you were going through the fire.

Speaker 1: 6:42

Every day, you wake up and keep going. You are already winning. Be gentle with yourself, be proud of your progress and always know that you are not alone. You're not alone because there are people who love you, who care about you, who think about you, often People who are absolutely in your corner. Sometimes we just need to reach out to them and say, hey, I'm not having a really great day and I would love some company. How about going to dinner and to the movies.

Speaker 1: 7:19

When we are able to express our needs to others, it helps us to feel better, because no one can read our mind, no one knows what we really need at any given time and space. So we have to help them out by making suggestions, and that's simply okay. Reaching out for help is a definite sign of practicing self-care. So I want you to think a moment about your own personal self-care. What have you done in the last three days to practice self-care? And if you haven't done anything in the last three days, then my charge to you is what will you do in the next three days to practice self-care? Will you simply read a book? Will you listen to your favorite music? Will you take a walk? Will you walk your dogs? But what will you do to take care of your own mental health condition? Because, as I have said many times, practicing self-care is the number one way to begin to feel better. We have to be proactive in our own fight, in our own quest, in our own desire to feel better. So if you are laying in your bed right now, or you haven't gotten up for the day, or you haven't taken a shower, one thing that you can do immediately. To practice self-care is to get up. Practice self-care is to get up, go to your kitchen, get something to eat, take a shower. That is an example of practicing immediate self-care and you will definitely feel better once you've done that. And by doing that one small thing, you will begin to build momentum and you will inevitably start feeling better.

Speaker 1: 9:14

Sometimes it's just a matter of us getting up from where we are and moving to a different area in our home. So disappointments will come in life and they will come at times when it's really very hard for us to deal with because we've already got so much on our plate. So when we know that disappointment is inevitable, it is important for us to have a plan. So what is my plan when things don't go my way? What will I do if the outcome is not what I expect? The outcome is not what I expect.

Speaker 1: 9:52

When you suffer from depression or mental illness, it's so important to try ahead of time to set up an action plan to deal with what could be inevitable. So an example would be for you to decide that I'm going to think about it for a little bit of time and then I'm going to let it go. I am not going to dwell on it because I know, if I do, I am at risk of suffering an episode of depression. So, for my own wellbeing, I'm going to move forward. I'm going to move forward, give it its due attention, but I am not going to allow it to consume me. I am not going to wallow in despair because that could set you back an entire week or sometimes as long as a month. We have to be aware of what our triggers are, and when we are aware of what our triggers are and we put a game plan in place, then we not only reduce our episodes of depression, but we begin to build that stamina that I'm talking about, and then, when disappointments come and setbacks come, we will not be as affected because we are building our resilience.

Speaker 1: 11:24

The word bounce back is often used when we talk about resilience our ability to not let something hold us back but be able to actually get through it. So what does that actually mean, especially when we're in the thick of the feeling and the moment when getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain, when life keeps throwing curveballs and when you feel anything but strong? Resilience isn't about being tough all of the time. It's not about pretending you're okay when you're not. Resilience is about continuing to move forward, even if it's just one tiny step at a time, because one tiny step at a time is still movement. It constitutes progress.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Resilience is your ability to bend without breaking, to feel the full weight of pain, disappointment or fear, and still say this isn't the end of my story, because it's not about saying that I'm not affected. It's about being adaptable. It's saying this is hard, yet I can and will learn from it. I'm hurting, but I'll still show up. This setback is terrible, but I will not allow it to define me. Here's the good news Resilience isn't something you're born with or without. It isn't a skill and, like any skill, it can be developed, especially through practice and patience, because your mind listens to what you tell it. So if your body believes you can't handle this, but your spirit believes it, your spirit is what will guide you, and when you do that, you activate courage and you build grit. So the next time you're going through a struggle, whisper to yourself this moment is tough, but so am. I Say it until you believe it. This is called strengthening your self-talk. You can't control how others behave, what already happened or what the future holds. But you can control your response, your breath, your next step and your mindset.

Speaker 1: 14:04

Resilience doesn't grow in isolation. You don't have to go through everything alone. Talk to a friend, join a support group, talk to a therapist it's okay to ask for help. Let's be honest Building resilience is not a quick fix. It's slow. It can be frustrating, sometimes it feels like you're going backwards, but every time you choose to stay instead of run, to try instead of giving up, to have hope instead of shutting down, you are building the muscle of resilience, one breath at a time and one day at a time, and you will eventually look back and say I did that. I am so much stronger than I ever thought. And that will be your mantra to know that when disappointment and things happen, that you have the stamina to get through it. Don't ever underestimate your quiet strength. The road won't be easy, but you're not walking alone and every small choice that you make to take care of your mind, body and heart is proof. It's proof that you are growing, you are healing and you are becoming unshakable. And remember, even when you feel weak, even when everything feels like too much, you are stronger than you know. You are stronger than you possibly know. So I say to you, my friend stay in the game of life, because giving up is never enough. I never want to end my podcast without first thanking you so very much for listening. You continue to be the best part of when over depression.

Speaker 1: 16:10

Do me a favor, won't you share this podcast episode with someone that you know suffers with a mental health condition or is trying to better understand a loved one? Remember, you can find us on TikTok at Tamara Trotter Consulting. You can also go to our website, tamaratrotterconsultingcom. Remember we also have a Facebook group called Went Over Depression Community and you can also find us on Pinterest at TT Mental Health Expert. Remember, you are not your mental illness and you can overcome your circumstances when you become proactive. If you are contemplating suicide, please do not take your life. Your loved ones won't understand and they will always wonder what they have could have done differently. All you're doing is passing that pain onto your family. Go back and listen to some of my episodes. Consult with your accountability partner, but please don't take your life. I will see you next time. On Went Over Depression, we drop an episode every Friday. Take care and be blessed.